Body language refers to the nonverbal cues that people use to communicate with others, such as facial expressions, gestures, posture, and eye contact.
It is a powerful form of communication that can convey emotions, attitudes, and intentions without the use of words.
Body language can complement verbal communication, adding depth and meaning to what is being said, or it can even convey a message on its own.
The study of body language, also known as kinesics, is a field of interest in psychology, sociology, and communication, as it can provide insights into human behavior and relationships.
Understanding and effectively using body language can be an important skill in various settings, such as in personal relationships, business, and public speaking.
My job interview
Years ago, I had a job interview.
As I sat across from the interviewer, I couldn’t shake the feeling of discomfort. At first, I thought it was just my intuition, but as the interview went on, I started to pick up on subtle cues from the other person. He was avoiding eye contact and constantly glancing at his phone, which only added to my unease.
It was not my intuition, it was his body language that made me uncertain. I decided to address it and asked if there was something he had to attend to.
He was surprised I had noticed this and told me he was expecting an important call. He apologized and shifted his attention to the interview. It went well and I got the job.
Benefits of using and interpreting body language
-
Improved Communication: Body language can help to clarify, emphasize, and supplement verbal communication.
-
Revealing Emotions: Body language can reveal a person’s emotions and thoughts, even if they are trying to hide or conceal them.
-
Building Connections: Using positive body language can help to establish rapport and build trust with others.
-
Persuasion: Effective body language can help to convey confidence, authority, and credibility, which can be useful in persuasion and negotiation.
-
Conflict Resolution: Observing and interpreting body language can help to resolve conflicts and misunderstandings by revealing the underlying emotions and motivations of the parties involved.
Learning to interpret body language
By practicing techniques and becoming more aware of the body language of others, you can greatly improve your ability to interpret and understand the messages being conveyed through nonverbal communication. Here are some tips:
-
Observe: Pay close attention to the body language of others when you interact with them, and try to understand the messages they are conveying through their gestures, posture, and facial expressions.
-
Practice: Try to interpret the body language of others in different situations, such as in a conversation, at a meeting, or in a public setting. This will help you to develop your skills and to become more confident in your interpretations.
-
Read about body language: There are many books and resources available on the subject of body language, which can provide you with a deeper understanding of the various gestures, expressions, and postures and their meanings.
-
Look for clusters of signals: Body language is complex and can be influenced by many factors, so it’s important to look for clusters of signals, rather than relying on a single gesture or expression. For example, a smile combined with open body posture and relaxed gestures is more likely to indicate genuine happiness than a smile on its own.
-
Consider context and culture: The meaning of body language can be influenced by cultural and situational factors, so it’s important to consider the context in which a gesture or expression is being used. If you’d like to read more about this, consider reading Building Bridges: Cross-Cultural Communication Made Easy
-
Be aware of your own body language: Understanding your own body language is important, as it can give you insight into your own emotions and thoughts, and help you to recognize when your body language may be sending unintended messages to others.
Reading negative emotions
| Emotion | Body Language Sign |
|---|---|
| Boredom | Lack of eye contact, fidgeting, slouching, looking at the clock or phone frequently |
| Unhappiness | Frowning, downcast eyes, slumped posture, lack of energy or enthusiasm |
| Stress | Fidgeting, nail-biting, shallow breathing, sweating, rubbing the face or neck |
| Displeasure | Furrowed brows, tight-lipped expression, crossed arms, avoidance of eye contact |
| Disagreement | Shaking head, crossed arms, furrowed brows, tight-lipped expression |
| Frustration | Foot-tapping, clenched jaw, tight fists, restless movements |
| Anxiety | Shallow breathing, fidgeting, sweating, biting or licking lips, avoiding eye contact |
Reading Positive emotions
| Emotion | Body Language Sign |
|---|---|
| Happiness | Smiling, laughing, open posture, relaxed gestures, bright eye contact |
| Interest | Leaning forward, nodding, maintaining eye contact, open posture, active listening |
| Agreement | Nodding, smiling, open posture, relaxed gestures, eye contact |
| Confidence | Straight posture, head held high, strong eye contact, relaxed gestures, open body position |
| Excitement | Animated gestures, rapid movements, high energy, rapid speech |
| Friendliness | Open posture, smiling, relaxed gestures, direct eye contact |
| Trust | Open posture, relaxed gestures, direct eye contact, minimal defensive gestures such as crossed arms |
It’s important to remember that body language can be culturally specific, and the meaning of a gesture can vary depending on context and the individual using it. It’s also important to look for clusters of signals, as a single gesture may have different meanings in different situations.
General body language tips
Here are some body language tips you could try out in different situations:
A Good First Impression
- Smile warmly and make eye contact
- Stand up straight and maintain good posture
- Avoid fidgeting or playing with your hair/clothing
- Use open and relaxed gestures
- Lean slightly forward to show interest
Public Speaking
- Stand up straight and maintain good posture
- Use confident and assertive gestures
- Make eye contact with the audience
- Avoid fidgeting or nervous habits
- Use gestures to emphasize key points
Interviews
- Make eye contact with the interviewer
- Smile and use positive body language
- Avoid fidgeting or nervous habits
- Use open and relaxed gestures
- Lean slightly forward to show interest and engagement
Negotiations
- Maintain good eye contact and positive body language
- Avoid fidgeting or nervous habits
- Use confident and assertive gestures
- Lean slightly forward to show interest and engagement
- Use gestures to emphasize key points
Dating or Romantic Situations
- Maintain good eye contact and smile
- Use open and relaxed gestures
- Lean slightly forward to show interest
- Avoid crossing your arms or legs
- Use playful gestures to show a lighthearted and approachable demeanor
Business Meetings
- Maintain good eye contact and positive body language
- Avoid fidgeting or nervous habits
- Use confident and assertive gestures
- Lean slightly forward to show interest and engagement
- Use gestures to emphasize key points
Sales Presentations
- Maintain good eye contact and positive body language
- Use confident and assertive gestures
- Avoid fidgeting or nervous habits
- Use gestures to emphasize key points
- Make use of open and expansive gestures to convey a sense of excitement and enthusiasm
Networking Events
- Smile and make eye contact
- Stand up straight and maintain good posture
- Avoid fidgeting or nervous habits
- Use open and relaxed gestures
- Lean slightly forward to show interest
These are just a few examples, and the recommended body language may vary depending on the specific context and individual. The most important thing is to be aware of your own body language, as well as that of others, and to adjust your posture, gestures, and expressions accordingly.
Using body language should be done subtly and naturally, and should not be overdone or appear forced, as this can come across as insincere or creepy.
The history of interpreting body language
The interpretation of body language has a long and rich history, dating back to ancient civilizations. Ancient Greeks, for example, believed that a person’s character could be revealed through their gestures and expressions, and they studied the art of rhetoric, which emphasized the importance of body language in communication.
In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, the field of psychology began to take a deeper interest in the study of body language, with pioneering psychologists such as William James and Carl Jung exploring the role of nonverbal cues in human behavior. In the mid-20th century, psychologist Albert Mehrabian popularized the idea that body language plays a significant role in communication, and his research helped lay the foundation for the modern study of nonverbal communication.
Mehrabian’s most famous finding is often referred to as the “7%-38%-55% rule,” which states that the meaning of a message is conveyed as follows:
- 7% of the message is conveyed through the words used
- 38% of the message is conveyed through the tone of voice used
- 55% of the message is conveyed through facial expressions and body language
It’s important to note that this rule is widely misinterpreted and often over-simplified. The 7%-38%-55% rule was based on a limited set of experiments that involved communication of emotions, and the percentages only apply to that specific context. In general, the meaning of a message is conveyed through a combination of verbal and nonverbal cues, and the relative importance of each cue can vary depending on the context and the individual.
Despite its limitations, Mehrabian’s research has been widely cited and has helped to raise awareness of the role that nonverbal cues play in communication. His work continues to be influential in the fields of psychology, communication, and related areas, and has helped to establish the importance of studying and understanding body language in a variety of settings.
Recommended books
“The Power of Body Language: How to Succeed in Every Business and Social Encounter” by Tonya Reiman is a book that explores the impact of nonverbal communication in various social and professional settings.
The book provides tips and techniques for reading and interpreting body language, as well as practical advice for improving your own nonverbal communication skills.
Reiman covers topics such as body language cues for power and attraction, decoding nonverbal cues in interviews and negotiations, and using body language to build rapport and credibility.
“Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behavior – Anytime, Anyplace” by Jo-Ellan Dimitrius and Mark Mazzarella is a book that teaches readers how to interpret and understand nonverbal cues in order to gain insight into other people’s thoughts, feelings, and motivations.
The authors cover various aspects of body language, including facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, posture, and vocal cues, and explain how these can be used to predict and understand behavior.
